写“对话”应该注意下面几点:
1
)对话必须要为推动故事情节发展服务,每段出现一两句即可;
2
)对话必须要为反映人物的心理与情感,刻画人物的性格服务;
3
)对话不宜过长,侧重口语化词汇,避开生僻词汇;
4
)对话要尽可能结合动作描写,明确对谁说,具有画面感;
5
)对话中要学会使用几个感叹词,表示说话人的喜、怒、哀、乐等情绪。
一、对话标签(
dialogue tag
)的三个位置
她说,“我想和你一起去,但我还没有完成家庭作业。”这句话用英语,从句式结构的角度来看,怎么表达呢?特别是对话标签
she said
的位置变化。
1.
对话标签在前
She
said
,“
I
would like to go with you, but I haven’t finished my homework.”
2.
对话标签在后
“
I would like to go with you, but I haven’t finished my homework.”She said.
这两句是最常见的形式,大家写出来,应该问题不大。我们来看第三种形式。
3.
对话标签在句子中间
“
I would like to go with
you,”she
said, “but I haven’t finished my homework.”
注意:对话标签在后或者在句子中间时(第
2,3
种情况),如果主语是名词,则可以倒装。而代词不可以倒装,
said she
是错误的。
“
I would like to go with you, but I haven
’
t finished my homework.
”
said Emily
(或者
Emily said.
)
“
I would like to go with
you,”said
Emily/ Emily said, “but I haven’t finished my homework.”
二、读后续写中写“对话”的常见问题
1.
废话连篇,对情节发展和刻画人物性格没有帮助。
“
Hey, how are you?” “I’m fine, how are you?”
“
How is the weather?” “Terrific! Nice day for a walk, isn’t it?”
这样的对话在现实生活中很真实,但是故事小说毕竟是艺术加工,无助推动情节发展的,不能刻画人物性格的日常寒暄和偏离文章主线的对话绝对不用。
2.
追求花哨,在对话标签后面加上不必要的动作描写或情感描写。
“
That is fantastic news,” he said happily.
此句中完全没有必要加上一个
happily
来表达说的方式,因为句中的
fantastic
一词足以说明说话人了表情,过度强调会让读者的注意力集中在“说话的方式”而不是“说话的内容”。
建议改为:“
That is fantastic news
!”
he said/screamed/exclaimed.
一个感叹号和一个
fantastic
已经足以让读者想象当时的情景。适当的“艺术留白”也是需要的,这样会留给读者想象的空间。
有时,为了避免过度使用
dialogue tags
,写对话时运用“动作描写”,
尤其是表情上动作来取而代之。
如:
Her eyes reflected the candlelight as she smiled at her son.
“
Everyone is unique. Just follow your heart and be yourself!
”当她对儿子微笑时,她的眼睛反射着烛光。“每个人都是独一无二的。只要跟随你的心,做你自己!”(这句话就没有用
dialogue tag
,而是通过表情取而代之)
3
、错误使用对话标签
"I can't believe it," Emma gasped. (gasp
意思为“喘气”
)
"That's funny," Henry chuckled. (chuckled.
意思为“轻笑”
)
这里把动作描写和对话标签混淆了,试想谁能“喘息或轻笑”出一句话?除非他或她有特异功能。
可以改为:
"I can't believe it," Emma said with a gasp.
(对话标签
Emma said+ with
介词短语)
Emma gasped. "I can't believe it."
(动作描写
+
句号)
"I can't believe it." Emma gasped.
(对话句
+
动作描写,注意对话句式句号)
"That's funny!" Henry chuckled.
(感叹句结束
+
动作描写)
"That's funny," Henry said, chuckling.
(
dialogue tag+
分词做伴随状况)
4
、重复使用“
said
”或相同意义的副词,让阅卷人觉得词汇匮乏。
只会
tell
不会
show
。
“
How can you do this
?”
she said angrily
,
looking at me furiously.
此句也是貌似“高大上”,使用了两个意义相近的副词,并且套用了分词做伴随的句型。过度堆砌辞藻会让人生厌,过度使用副词也会让阅卷老师觉得你乏味。
积累相关的
said
的词汇来避免过度使用
said
,比如:
愤怒时说可以用
:
shouted
, yelled, barked, warned etc.
;羡慕地说
admired
;安慰地说
comforted
;激动地说可以用
: shouted, yelled, exclaimed etc.
;坚定地说
declared
;坚持说
insisted
;命令说
commanded
;警告说
warned etc.
高兴地说可以用
:smiled, screamed, cheered, laughed et.
;悲伤地说可以用
: cried, mumbled, sobbed, sighed etc.
;嘲笑说
sneered
;责备说
scolded
;要求说
demanded
;威胁说
threatened
;开玩笑地说
: teased, joked
;笑着说可以用
:laughed, giggled, roared etc.
;继续说
: continued
;强调说
emphasized
;回忆说
remembered, recalled
;最后说
/
总结说
concluded
。
三、写“对话”的四个小技巧
在对话标签中加入语气,嗓音,情感让你的描写更生动传神。
①第一种:加语气。基本结构为:
in a/an+
形容词
firm
坚定的
/rude
粗鲁的
/sad
悲
高中英语读后续写中如何“对话”.docx